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and then I lose it all.

I turn the pages,   Back to when I couldn't sleep at night,   Back to when I was holding on too tight,   Living just for the sake of living life,   Now every single move I make is accompanied by gratuitous pressure,   Gone long are the days I didn’t need to think twice about my choices,   Slowly, I see myself grow, grow to be the person I never imagined I’d be. A person that doesn’t just care but cares too much A pit at the bottom of my stomach with monsters that growl with the need to be liked, to be loved, to be followed.   Cursing myself, over tiny irrelevant things,   It’s eating me up inside, thoughts jailing me up inside. So I put myself down and break the walls of my vessel, as a dark light encompasses my being,   Exposed, I can see you all, taunting me, my vessel breaking, my strings ripping till there are none left,   You make me think,   Think about ending it all, rip my roots once and for all,   In a moral dilemma, where both choices seem

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strings we knotted too tight.